With [email protected], your pleasure is the priority, and every question is a good one. Whether you’re curious about a shift in libido, want intel about a certain relationship dynamic, are interested in exploring an untapped avenue of your sexuality, or anything else, Rebecca Alvarez Story, sexologist, founder of Bloomi, and Well+Good Changemaker—has an answer to offer.
I often see people put up barriers between the things they want to try sexually and the things they actually end up trying. Sometimes, I find that folks hold back from honoring their earnest sexual desires because they overthink it or simply forget that both playfulness and trial and error are the building blocks of coming to understand what works best for them sexually. That’s why I believe a great way to ease in to experimenting without venturing outside your comfort zone is to use sex toys in creative ways.
To take your sex life to the next level (or simply save it from feeling stale or routine), sex toys are a helpful tool because they allow you to try new sensations. Whether you have an old go-to favorite toy or are in the market to get creative with something more modern, I’ve got you covered. Below I answer some of the common questions I get regarding multi-use sex toys, along with new ideas to spark your body exploration and creativity.
6 common questions I get about multi-use sex toys, answered
Question 1: If I’m going to splurge on one sex toy—what is the best bang for my buck to get multi-use from it?
Answer: I love the Lelo Gigi 2 ($139) for a multi-use pleasure splurge. It’s perfectly curved with a signature flattened tip to target your G-spot internally, but the flat head also allows for major clitoral stimulation.
Also, don’t be afraid to use your sex toy to play around other areas of your body before working your way down to your G-spot. Doing so can reduce nerves or tension and get you used to the vibrations on your body.
Question 2: I want to use a toy with my partner but I’m embarrassed to suggest it. What should I do?
Answer: Introducing a sex toy to partnered play is a great way to break up any monotony in your sex routine and boost playfulness. If broaching the subject of bringing a toy into the bedroom scares you, I suggest simply leaving the toy on the bed as a subtle signal for your partner. You can also gift them a toy for a special occasion or offer to shop together in order to get the conversation going in a semi-guided way.
Question 3: I want to use a sex toy in creative ways. Where do I start?
Answer: Some of my current favorite toys that have multiple uses for a variety of body types and made with medical-grade silicone include the Lora Dicarlo Sway ($150), Lora Dicarlo Tilt ($140), Fun Factory Bootie Ring ($45), Lelo Sona 2 ($99) or Lelo Gigi 2 ($130). As a sexologist, I have new favorites regularly but always recommend you shop for products that don’t have intimate skin allergens and are made with medical-grade silicone. There’s no point in investing in something that could irritate your skin or cause infections. As far as how to use sex toys in creative ways, here are some tips:
For people with vaginas:
Remember there are many lesser-known pleasure spots inside the vagina for you to explore. There is always a lot of buzz around your G-spot, but there is also the vagina’s A-spot (higher up) and C-spot (aka cervix spot, way way up). Use a toy internally and slowly to explore different parts of the vagina that feel good. This is also a good time to get your partner involved—ask them to try different pleasure spots on you to ‘map out’ what feels the best.
For those with a prostate:
There are lots of options nowadays for prostate massagers that include an added weight or a ring that goes around the penis for added pleasure. If anal sex hasn’t been on your list yet, don’t knock it until you try it. Toys like Sway and Tilt are meant for both prostate and G-spot pleasure.
Question 4: How do I safely use the same toy in these creative ways during one sex session?
Answer: Ask yourself: ‘What part of my body do I liked to be touched?’ Then, try a toy there. The only thing to be mindful of is to not start with the anus and make your way to the vagina because the anus has bacteria that can cause infections if spread to the vagina or urinary tract. Otherwise, all body parts are fair game.
Question 5: Are there types of sensations besides vibration to consider for toys?
Answer: Yes! Two sensations other than vibration that I love in a sex toy include:
- Heat: Toys with a heat component can add a fiery dynamic to play by stimulating blood flow and allowing for arousal more easily. Lora DiCarlo’s Sway ($150), Drift ($95) and Tilt ($140) toys have heat sensations.
Question 6: Will my sex life get better if I use my product in different or non-traditional ways?
Answer: I like to say that anything that is sexually exploratory is positive. You might not love everything you try, but exploration with toys is helpful in understanding your arousal and pleasure and how you interact with your partner(s).
Traditionally, the sex-toy industry has designed toys in a very binary way. However, recently we have seen a trend of products being more inclusive, reflecting a shift in the industry away from rigid lines and the “must use in a certain or one way” mentality. Creative multi-uses can spark interest and can teach you things about yourself you did not know before.
Being mindful and purposeful with multi-use sex toys shows commitment to improving your sex life and openness to using things in new ways in order to level up your intimacy and pleasure.
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