An investigation into Baker Mayfield’s UFO encounter

Baker Mayfield had a close encounter with the third kind on Wednesday night.

Teams don’t normally want their star quarterbacks to be distracted during the offseason, but I’ve got to think there’s an exception to be made for an alien encounter. The real question is: Why did aliens visit Baker Mayfield? And I think I have the answer.

Any civilization capable of light-speed travel would treat humans as insignificant cosmic ants, but I’d like to believe there’s still an inherent morality to them. So, to this end, they would be naturally conditioned to root for the underdog. What better underdog than the Cleveland Browns? They were fans all along.

So, when did aliens begin this trip to see the Browns? I’m assuming there’s enough coverage and scanning of our solar system that extraterrestrials didn’t come from our solar system, or use wormhole technology that would be picked up on scanning. So my assumption is that they came from Alpha Centuri, just over four lights years away.

This would have put the departure date as 2017 shortly before the NFL Draft. The Browns had the No. 1 pick, and many thought they’d take Mitchell Trubisky. Assuming there would be a new age dawning of Cleveland football, the aliens set off on their journey to witness the evolution of the Browns from a cellar dweller to a powerhouse.

That might have not come to be, but upon arriving to earth the aliens felt the best thing they could do was find Baker Mayfield and let their presence be known. He had brought the Browns back into prominence, and into the good graces of our alien guests. Now they will celebrate Cleveland football returning to the light.

Either that, or Mayfield just saw a weather balloon.

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