Following up on the exciting news that Roger Goodell will be able to wrap his arms around prospects for some old-man hugging on draft night comes the news that his chair will be traveling too, and could turn up literally anywhere.
Remember the chair that NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell sat in while in his basement during the draft last year? Turns out… that chair is headed to Cleveland! Maybe it’ll be backstage… and could turn up elsewhere throughout the week.
— Ian Rapoport (@RapSheet) April 27, 2021
I didn’t know people really cared about Goodell’s chair, but the NFL evidently does. So, with a full capacity for understanding fun, following the bucketed receptacle for Goodell’s butt cheeks will become a tradition this week.
So we know Goodell’s chair will be in Cleveland for the NFL Draft itself, but where else could it turn up? I have some ideas.
- In Radio City Music Hall, alone, so Goodell can sit in peace and experience what it’s like not to get booed by Jets fans in that building.
- The fourth row of the U.N. security council meeting on the proliferation of chemical weapons where Roger will vote FOR more chemical weapons.
- One of the seats of an elaborate round table where the world’s criminal elite discuss how to kill James Bond.
- Your own living room, where Goodell will give a speech to your children about how concussions are fake news.
- A symposium on race relations where he’ll wear a concerned look and nod at key moments. The whole time the only think he’ll be thinking about is old Marvin the Martian cartoons.
- Across from Skeletor, where he’ll help organize an assault on Castle Greyskull.
- At a backyard pool party he organized. Goodell burned the hamburgers to a crisp, but they’re still raw inside.
- On Elon Musk’s first manned mission to Mars.
Really, his chair could turn up anywhere … and that’s the fun.